I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
apparently the secret to your success is patron
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
