I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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