if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
