i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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