To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
