guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
