I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
