hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
