Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
