MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
