Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
So vagazzling was a success
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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