i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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