can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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