I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
