I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
