I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
