She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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