You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
