tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
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Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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