SEEEEXXX PLEASE
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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