u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
