im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
