This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
