If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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