I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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