Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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