I wish life had little blips of pornography
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
