i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
