I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
