Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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