a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
In other news, I just burned my penis
And then my night got REAL pukey
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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