you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
