Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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