i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
