lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
