OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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