If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
