3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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