He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
