dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
