My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
