I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
