she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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