I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
