He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
