Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
ttyl tear gas
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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