New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
