yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We have started to decorate penises.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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