He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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