belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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