Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
