Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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