First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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