Your tits are I can't wait for
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
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