I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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